I've been very busy.

The last few days have been very busy. First of all, for a while we've been going through the motions of becoming parents to one of my students since January, and all of the sudden everything is coming together. She will live in our house by the end of the week. We've been busy getting her room ready. It is amazing how much junk can fit in the guest bedroom closet.

Friday night I got to be with some of my heroes at the Special Olympics Banquet at my school. It was a wonderful and fun evening. I had extra fun by wearing my wig around people who haven't seen it yet. Some of my students and co-workers took a while to recognise me. One young man who I speak to daily wouldn't come near me because he didn't understand why I knew him. I DID have the best ribs I've ever had, and I had to take Chris to the restaurant that catered to prove it.

Saturday morning, Chris and Lexie went on a poker run on the motorcycle, and later that day we went to pay tribute to an old friend who passed away in Shawnee.

Sunday was a beautiful day for church and spending time outside in this beautiful time of year.

Well, Thursday is the big day. I'll work all week, and take Thurs. off to visit my oncologist and see what is next. If I don't post until then, nothing new has happened. I'm so thankful for all of your prayers and support.

Please sign the petition

Although I'm so blessed, I will have to have a mastectomy eventually to prevent recurrence, which if you watch the news, you know can happen to anyone. I was sent an e-mail that disturb es me to find out that there are so called "drive-through mastectomies" which are done on an outpatient basis. Please take the time to read the information and sign the petition if you feel led to do so. I would also appreciate if you pass this information to anybody else who would act and pass it on. Although Oklahoma has a law that prevents this, other states do not. Please don't allow this to keep happening.

A mastectomy is traumatizing enough. Let's not make it an out-patient procedure and give insurance companies yet another victory. Takes two seconds to fill out this petition. If you're a man, think of your mother, wife, girlfriend, sister, or daughter.

Mastectomy Hospital Bill in Congress:
A mastectomy is when a woman's breast is removed in order to remove cancerous breast cells and tissue. If you know anyone who has had a mastectomy, you may know that there is a lot of discomfort and pain afterwards. Insurance companies are trying to make mastectomies an outpatient procedure. Let's give women the chance to recover properly in the hospital for two days after surgery.


http://www.lifetimetv.com/breastcancer/petition/signpetition.php

PET scan results.

Great News! My PET scan results show "dramatic interval improvement." Translated by the oncology nurse, there are no cancer glows in my body showing that the tumors are gone. That doesn't mean I'm out of the woods on treatment. I will still have a mastectomy and my ovaries removed and I will go through more chemo, but the cancer is responding to treatment and today things are very good.

I'm doing a happy dance and praising God! Thank you for your prayers.

Time for roll call.

I'm having to take an extra day off to ward off the fatigue monster that eats my energy. I think it is a mix of the shots I have to take to keep my blood counts higher and that the chemo effects seem to compound a bit with every treatment.

Out of curiosity, will everybody who is reading this please post a short comment with your name. You don't have to sign in to leave a comment, you can just post as anonymous, just remember to re-type the letters for the security code. Let's just call it a roll call since I'm a teacher missing school today.

A quick hello to my Aunt Anna and my old buddy Tammy.

Lazy Weekend, but Good Weekend

The only time I left the house this weekend was to attend church. Otherwise, I've been a lazy, lazy gal. I know it isn't truly lazy, but I would rather be doing anything but sitting around watching the beautiful days pass by.

One of the blessings I get from having to be sick are visitors. Yesterday, one of my many aunts was going to be driving through OKC, and came by to visit. This is the aunt who is two years older than me, and I probably (okay, DID) drive crazy by following her every step from the time I could walk. We've been dressed alike for weddings, I think she taught me the Cotton-Eyed-Joe, and she was my confirmation sponsor. So I guess you could say I was very excited that she would be coming by to say hello. Anyway, her and her friend's arrival caused a bit of a stir in my neighborhood...she's a Sister of St. Francis (Sr. MM: If I got this wrong, blame it on the chemo brain, and I can edit to fix). My Aunt Sr. Mary Michael and Sr. Mary Anna stopped by to say hello and got an introduction to one of my favorite shows: Mythbusters. It was a good visit, and I wish I felt better because when I'm tired I can talk and talk and talk and talk...and probably don't make any sense. After they left, a few neighbors checked that I was okay...I guess they thought I was getting visitation reserved for the extremely sick or dying.

Well, my PET scan is tomorrow, and I've been told to follow a low carb/high protein diet today and to eat nothing after 8AM. My appt. won't be until after 5PM. Huh! My onc. office told me that they should have the results on Tuesday, so I'll be stopping by on the way home from school. I'll post the results as soon as I know something.

Bad Blogger...

I'm sorry I haven't posted since Wednesday, but I've been busy. Before my chemo on Thursday, I went shopping and got some clothes and scarves. After the chemo, I had to head to the north part of OKC to get my massage. The difference how I feel with and without a massage is amazing. I haven't felt sick at all so far and my energy is up (compared to chemo, not pre-chemo). Yesterday I went to take the work to school for my students, and on the way home I saw sign after sign for garage sales. It turns out that this weekend is Moore's city-wide garage sale. There are over 600 sales this weekend, but I made it to about 20 before pooping. My favorite find was a real stained glass panel that is about 2 ft. by 3 ft. for $25. It is going in my guest bath where there were wood shutters to let some light in.

Oh, by the way, I had a great birthday. The flowers are from Chris. My head is going commando in the pic... I guess all women feel beautiful around flowers. Chris arranged the flowers himself.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today is my 35th birthday. I've never been upset about getting older, thanks to the wonderful example set by my mother. I also am hit with feeling older every day at work. Yesterday one of my students had a pair of sunglasses almost identical to a pair I recently bought, and I made a big deal how I was "hip" again for fun. Poor girl will probably throw her pair away. I don't think I was EVER "hip," even when I was young. Maybe for the few weeks being a dork was cool, but I wouldn't have known it if it happened. For discipline measures I just threaten to dance for them. Talk about cruel punishment...

Today is my last normalish day before tomorrow's chemo. It will be weird at work since I won't get to see all my kids due to End of Instruction testing. It is part of the accountability under the "No Child Left Behind" legislation. Today is the second part of the English 10 test, so that involves 1/3 of the school taking a test, and lots of students displaced since Westmoore uses a separate hall that can be closed off for testing to help reduce any disruptions. Okay, enough information.

Have a great day! I know I will make the best of mine.

I don't know what to name this.

Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

I just wanted to remember those who sufferer as a result of the massacre at Virginia Tech. As an educator, moments like this pain me deeply. All of those students are some one's child. Teaching is my ministry, and I hate to see any place that should be a sanctuary disturbed.

Answers to questions that have been asked:

When will you find out what comes next?
On May 3rd. I have a scan on April 23. Too long to wait if you ask me, so I'm going to ask if I can get an appt. with my oncologist sooner on April 19, which is my next chemo.

Sick days?
I've been very lucky to remain relatively healthy the last six years in Oklahoma, and Moore Public Schools let all the sick days I accumulated over the years come with me from Shawnee. If I had to quit going to work tomorrow, I have enough to make it through the end of the year and have some left over for next year. I will probably run out last year, though, and some of the awesome people I work with have offered to share their sick leave with me.

Who is Ruth?
She is a fellow Cancer Vixen who I have become acquainted with on a message board for young women dealing with breast cancer. She lives in Alaska and is the mother of two beautiful children, one adopted from China within the last year if I'm correct.

Why is your little sister (Shelly) so cynical?
Because I didn't beat her up enough when we were younger. Actually, she is also a cancer survivor (scar tissue cancer), and has been lucky to only have surgery. She is a smart a@@, and that is just in the gene pool of my family...added with dealing with the C-word and how the word will never leave your thoughts. All cancer sucks.

Why in the world do you teach high school?!?
Because I'm just enough crazy to love working with that age group. They're still technically kids with so many grown-up responsibilities and feelings. Oh, did I mention that I'm crazy?

Why are you up posting this late?
My mother brought some spread made with cream cheese, blue cheese and bacon. (YUM!)
I had it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner spread on a baguette with tomatoes. (extra YUM) Well, I think my allergy to mold is making me feel poorly, and I thought if I got up for a while I would feel better. I'm off to try to go back to bed. Goodnight!

My Weekend

My mom and sister came from Amarillo for the weekend. It was a great visit, and some great food that my mom cooked. Thank goodness my appetite is coming back. Mom brought a project for a prom where she is helping to make chocolate mousse filled tulips. The tulips were made by taking a small balloon and dipping it in melted chocolate and placing it on a melted circle on a cookie sheet. In the first three or four attempts, the balloon exploded from the heat and made a white chocolate mess in my kitchen. It was a funny way for a balloon to pop. I am feeling better every day, and I hope it will continue until the next chemo this Thursday.

Well, my Three Legged-Gun Shy-Bird Dog is begging to go to bed. She isn't as excited as the bedtime, the treat she has gotten almost every night for the last nine years at the same time. My smiling mutt dog is also ready. I need to get the energy and start walking her again. Last fall one of the neighborhood boys asked if he could have one of her puppies... and she has been fixed since she was a puppy. The fat roll by her tail yells I need exercise!!! I won't even start on mine.

I LOVE this weather!

To me, we're having a typical Oklahoma Spring. I LOVE the cool weather we're having now because I feel quite comfortable. I do need to go out and find a NOAA weather radio since every time it thunders at night I have to wake up and make sure it is not a tornado, but when it is just a thunderstorm, I go back to bed and love hearing the thunder and heavy rain.

I'm beginning to feel halfway normal. I still have to run home and take a nap after work, but I have been able to do a little in the evening after my nap. It will let me enjoy this weekend with Mom and Rene', my little sister. My industrious mom brought a project for us to work on together for entertainment and plenty of food. (happy sigh)

Have a great weekend, and enjoy the cool and rain.

Finally walkin' around the store.

My poor husband is sick, and I needed to go to the store to get some medications for him. Thank goodness I had the energy to walk around and not only get his meds, but some good fruits and veggies. I may be a little bit paranoid, but it seems like many people avoid eye contact with the nice lady with cancer. Maybe they're afraid it is contagious. Just a short note today.

A week before I'm 35.

Just at the beginning of this year when I realised I'd turn 35 this year, I remember thinking how OLD I thought 35 was. Before the new year I was told I was too young to have breast cancer, but obviously I'm not. Garth Brooks has a song called I'm Much Too Young to Feel This Damn Old, and I feel every note of the song to my bones. It may be the shots to boost my red and white blood counts making my bones feel, who knows.

The good news is that my feelings and mood is great. My students make me smile all day. This may sound cheesy, but they give back to me what I've given to them. I have one class that their faces light up after every absence, and it makes it so easy to push past the aches and fatigue and work with these young minds. The money I don't make as a teacher is stored as treasure in my heart, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Okay, enough sentimental sappy stuff...

I've started taking off whatever is on my head as soon as I get in my car after work. It has been because I am HOT, and a naked head cools the body off pretty quick. An added bonus is the looks I get on the way home at the stop lights. If people are staring I smile a HUGE smile and wave like they're my best friend. Some people wave back, but most look very embarrassed and look away. I'm starting to get a feel what my husband has gone through most of his adult life, but don't feel too sorry for him since he mentioned I should go out in public bald so people will stare at him instead of me. (He's 6'10")

Hittin' the wall.

Yesterday I hit the chemo wall. It has been the hardest day so far, and I guess it is because I tried to push myself too much in the last week. It is just hard knowing how much energy I used to have, and going to getting the scooter at Wal-Mart so I can get bananas AND power steering fluid. I know that Chris would happily do the shopping for me, but last time he went shopping he got pizza, pizza Hot Pockets, Pizza Rolls, and maybe even pizza flavored chips. I was craving roasted veggies like I had for Easter lunch and green food... so I go on the buggy. I hate feeling weak, but I know I need to let my body heal after these chemicals go through every part of my being.

I got a Cancer Sucks t-shirt that I ordered in the mail. It is totally inappropriate for work, but I will wear it to my doctor appointments. I also got a Mr. Potato Head t-shirt...we have the same hair-cut, you know. Oh, and now I'm wearing a Pink Floyd concert shirt with Easter Island looking pics...again same hair-do. I try to find the silver lining in this cancer. When I'm feeling better (right before chemo), it is easy to find all silver linings. On days like yesterday when I KNEW I couldn't go to work and days like today when I WANT to work, but just feel too weak and know better, it sucks, and there is no other way to describe it. I have spend some awesome time in prayer and meditation, and God's presence gives me so much comfort. I am thankful for all prayers that I know have helped my healing come along, as well as my peace of mind.

I'm back to the sofa.

Happy Easter!

This morning when I got up, I decided that cancer wouldn't take Easter away from me. I got up and went to services, and was truly happy I did. I got home and had a short nap before my step-daughter called and invited us for lunch at her house. It was a great meal and great company. It was worth going, but I'm worn out and off to rest.

HE IS RISEN!

Chemo #3

Yesterday was chemo #3. My best friend got to witness the slow infusion of the cancer poison, and kept me company during the boring two hours of sitting and waiting. I was given a shot for anemia as well as white blood cell counts, and will have the nice side effect of spine pain for a couple more days. I made a very bad mistake and ate pizza last night for dinner. I was feeling cocky from the previous week of feeling better, and will stay away from pizza for quite a while now. There is nothing much else to report but resting. Fatigue is the worst side effect of chemo, and I wish I could wash it away with a shower.

A Surprise Free Day

This afternoon when I showed up for chemo #3 with a fabulous new handbag, the oncology nurse acted surprised to see me even though the calendar she made for me stated today was C-day. I reschedued for tomorrow, so I get a free day, so to say.

I did get to see my oncologist, and he was VERY happy with the reduction of my tumors. I will take a CAT scan soon after chemo #4 on April 19, and will visit with him on May 3 to discuss if I will have surgery or 12 weeks of Taxol/Herpectin treatment first. I'll keep you updated.

For a pick-me-up after the appointment, my friend and I went to the OKC National Memorial and Museum. This was the sight of the Murrah Building bombing on April 19, 1995. It didn't work for the pick-me-up, but I haven't gone to the museum since it opened even though I've lived here since its opening. I did get a picture taken next to the Suvivor Tree, and as soon as I get motivated to figure out pictures, I will post it. If you are not familiar with the Survivor Tree, it is an elm that was very close to the blast caused terrible damage, but lives on with the scars from the blast. It is a symbol of hope for all touched by the bombing, even those like me who watched the carnage on the news.

So chemo tomorrow and I'll be one chemo closer to my cure.

Top Ten Reasons for Being Bald

This gave me a laugh and I wanted to share. I wish I could say I came up with this on my own.

10. When driving to work, never have to wonder, worry, or obsess if curling iron was left on.
9. No gut-wrenching decisions about having a perm, getting a short cut, or wearing it long and wavy.
8. Gray hair? No problem. . . it no longer shows.
7. Can take on new personality according to wig and/or hat style and stay in character all day.
6. Fun and exciting to elicit startle responses by appearing in public with nothing on head except a bow taped on top.
5.Have a great belly laugh at being mistaken for Demi Moore (GIJane), Sigourney Weaver (Alien) or better yet, Andre Agassi.
4. Save money on shampoo and conditioners and spend it on hot oil head massages . . . body massages if there’s enough oil.
3. Can entertain people sitting behind you by drawing pictures or writing messages on back of bald head.
2. Get revenge at the hair-stylist who once over-charged for a bad hair cut by telling everyone she is responsible for this “new style.”
1. Have ample time to sit in front of mirror, watch hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows slowly grow back, and get priorities straight.

busy, busy, busy

Great news! My mother-in-love is in the clear and at home. With the help of God, Pat's arm and heart are saved, and she has a chance to stay in the clear. She had a blood clot from her shoulder to her wrist, and the condition is known as thrombosis. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thrombosis Recently VP Cheney has had it, and one of my DH's aunts on the other side of the family has had to deal with it, too. I have no desire to ever have that myself, so that will get me out and walking when all I want to do is lie on the cold tile floor.

We got home Sunday afternoon, and went to spend the evening with my step-daughter's family. At her home, she is one of five beautiful children, and we had a delightful evening. It may have started an unofficial burger contest between our two houses, since they totally one-upped the burgers we served the kids on their last visit. It would actually be a great excuse to have the family over to our home and enjoy the beautiful weather that is coming... especially after the allergies quit attacking.

Tonight I went to a very inspirational Bible study and informal prayer group after the study. The prayer was for my healing, and was powerful. I wept with such joy with the love shown by God through these women I just met plus the love of one I've known for years. It is amazing how when I'm about to take my next chemo I have another booster shot of love. God is great!