Fun Stuff

Today was a weird day, and I don't want to talk about it, so I thought I'd post some fun stuff.

An Oklahoma farmer dies and, being a heathen, goes to Hell. When he gets there its 95 F with 90% humidity, but Satan notices he's kicked back on the brimstone relaxing comfortably. He asks, "Why aren't you miserable like everyone else here?" The farmer replies, "Oh, this is like a warm spring day in Oklahoma. I like it." Angry, Satan turns up the thermostat until its 100 F and 95% humidity. Still, the farmer's happy. "This is like a good June day on the farm. Not bad at all." Furious, Satan turns it up to 105 F and 99% humidity. Everyone is even more miserable, except the Oklahoma farmer still resting. "Hey, this isn't like a good August day on the farm bailing hay. Feels good the hotter the better." In a total rage, Satan turns the thermostat down to minus 25 F. Within seconds, the air becomes chilly and frost appears, soon followed by solid ice everywhere. Satan smirks, watching the farmer. The confused farmer looks down at the frozen ground for a moment, suddenly jumps up excitedly, looks around everywhere and begins to laugh, scream, and jump for joy. "OSU WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP IN FOOTBALL!"

Just in case you don't know, OSU is Oklahoma State University (Boone's Farm for the locals)
http://osu.okstate.edu/


Okay, next is a recipe that I'm making for a potluck tomorrow that is WAY yummy. I came across the book it came out of by way of my friend Becky. This recipe is out of The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook (and Financial Planner). The recipe is called That Pumpkin Stuff Dorothy Makes:

Preheat oven to 350.
Mix together:
1 16-ounce can of pumpkin
1 can of evaporated milk
1 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
3 eggs
Pour above into greased 9 X 13-inch pan
Crumble 1 yellow (butter) cake mix and one cup chopped pecans on top
Pour 2 sticks (yep, one cup) of melted butter over it.
Bake for 50 to 60 minutes.

While it cools, make the frosting by mixing together:
8 ounces cream cheese
1 cup powdered sugar
2 cups Cool Whip (I just use the whole small tub)
Smear this on the pumpkin stuff and put some more pecans on top.

The book has the following directions, "Then force yourself to put it in the refrigerator until it's time to go to the potluck dinner; otherwise you won't have any left to take. When you get there, immediately serve yourself a big wad of it and go off somewhere safe to eat it, because once the next person tastes it, it's over--they'll be swarming over it like yellow jackets on a KFC bag.

Singin' the Taxotere blues.

(buh BUH buh buh BAH)...play with me here, blues musical notes..
My doc gave the Taxotere.
(buh BUH buh buh BAH)...
To stop the cancer far and near
(buh BUH buh buh BAH)...
But my eyebrows are a comin' out
(buh BUH buh buh BAH)...
Like I played TOO close to fallout
(buh BUH buh buh BAH)...
Tinglin' numb fingers and toes
(buh BUH buh buh BAH)...
Weird smells comin' in my nose
(buh BUH buh buh BAH)...
NOTHIN' 'BOUT THIS I CAN DO
SO I'M SINGING THE TAXOTERE BLUES (imagine a tough blues rif right here)

Sorry, I'm not much of a poet or songwriter, but just wanted to attempt a little humor without sounding whiny. This weekend was nice, and I finally got some flowers planted. The one I'm really looking forward to see grow is the Black and Blue Sage. http://www.rainyside.com/features/plant_gallery/perennials/Salvia_guaraniticaBlackAndBlue.html

I hope all of you had a great long weekend and had a wonderful celebration of God's Holy Spirit coming to help us know God. What a wonderful gift!

Chillout!

Today, just in time for my second Taxotere infusion, the UPS man left a Chillow on my doorstep from somebody who empathized with my hot flashes. At the moment this nifty invention is sitting on my head sucking the heat from my head and I am chillo'n out! Aaaaahhhhh!!! Now for the bone and muscle pain to set in! It is weird that this is now normal for me, but this journey has brought me places in my relationship with Christ that I never dreamed of being. It has brought closer to others in my life as well. I don't see myself as a person with a disease that may kill me, but as a person who is getting better, and the better is physically and spiritually. I wish I could say mentally, but chemo brain is making sure that doesn't happen.

Anyway, this last week has been crazy busy. May is always busy at a high school, and tomorrow will be the craziest ending with graduation in Oklahoma City in the evening. I have decided to go to work tomorrow since finals are next week, and I don't want to cheat my students. They've worked so hard for me this year that I can't cheat them out of the chance of showing me and themselves how much. They've been such an inspiration to me as well as a wonderful source of support. I just hope I don't regret this decision this weekend.

Songs

I have always loved music. My life has a soundtrack of the songs I remember throughout my life, and I love how any song can bring back memories from the first time I went to a dance (Jump by Van Halen) to driving around in high school (Sweet Child of Mine by Guns N Roses) to one year on the last day of school as a teacher singing Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd. My talent of learning the words and tune easily is now failing me, but a song that has been out for a while came on the radio and is now one of my favorite songs. It is Stand by Rascal Flats.

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright

[Chorus:]Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand

Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

[Repeat Chorus]

Every time you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Ooohhh

[Repeat Chorus]

Here's a link to the video on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8zWb0-pCbQ

Another link to Skin by Rascal Flats. It is a great song, but get your tissue ready if you don't know the song. It isn't the official video, but the words are there.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lq6dpoLwbY&mode=related&search=

Menopause?!?!?!!?!!?!?!!?

Night sweats -n- hot flashes -n- fatigue, OH MY! The temperature outside is heating up, and so am I. I've been experiencing these symptoms before, but they keep getting worse. I know it means the chemo is working, but it doesn't make it fun at all.

I've been reading It's Always Something by Gilda Radner. It is a delightful and honest book. I haven't been able to finish it yet due to concentration issues, but I wanted to share a short song that she wrote and sang to herself during cancer treatments. I modified the language so I don't shock anybody, which I hate doing it to literature since those are MY words and not the author's words, but the reader will get the point anyway.

I am well.
I am wonderful.
I am cancer free.
No little cancer cell is hiding inside of me.
But if some little cancer cell is sneakily holding on,
I'll bash and beat its effing head and smash it till it's gone.

Oh my aching (fill in the blank)!!!

I've been doing well this week, but have noticed that my bones and muscles hurt and ache more than ever. I've been spending a lot of time in the shower with the hot water running over my back since that is the worst part. I have to make myself not run the opposite way when my hugging students come my way since it hurts to get hugs right now. How bad can that be?

Anyway, I got to start parenting this week. Yesterday (Tuesday) I went out to the car to get some Diet Coke that was in the trunk. Our school has Pepsi products, and if one wants Coke products they have to be brought in. Anyway, the car moved since Angel parked that morning, giving away the fact that she took the car to lunch. I thought, oh darn, what do I do? I have to already play the "bad parent." I went out to the parking lot quickly to sit in the car by the time she got there, and she already moved the car back to the original parking space. I pointed out how impressed I was that she got to the car and moved it so quickly...and then definitely explained to her that I need to know where she was and that she needed permission from now on to leave campus. She quickly said "Got it," and went home. For those of me who think she should get to go during lunch, let me explain that the school has over 2000 students from 10-12 grades, and there are only 2 entrances and exits. We are also in the south part of Oklahoma City, and traffic is not great during lunch time. Maybe I'll be more for it when she has more driving experience.

Mother's Day Was Wonderful!

I got to go to Amarillo for Mother's Day. I am one of the lucky people who love my in-laws along with my biological family, and got to see both. Sunday we ate lunch at my Grandma's (mother's mother) for Mother's Day. It was great getting to see my extended family. My mom is the oldest of nine, and most got to come. I am the oldest of 27 cousins on this side, and got to see many of them. Lots of them are WAY closer to Angel's age than mine, and I have to rack my brain to remember all the names since I don't get to see them very often, but everybody I'm related to seems to look beautiful. I guess good genes...
Well, we needed to head home so we could rest before the week (teaching in May wears even the strongest person out), and we got a surprise shower. It was SO sweet... I'm not easily moved to tears, but the waterworks came. I'm still overwhelmed by this sweet show of love. Oh, if anybody has pictures, would you please send them my way. I didn't have my camera out since I didn't know this would happen.
When I got home, my S'Kid (step-daughter) left an apple with caramel, chocolate and nuts for my gift...YUM! The apple was for the teacher, and the caramel and nuts for the S'Mom (Step-mom). I was wondering what the nuts REALLY meant.

Well, on the cancer front, I don't feel nearly as bad on the AC chemo, but the Neulasta shot is still kicking my butt. I'm taking massive amounts of Alieve, but it tears up my guts and bothers the Crohn's disease. I just refuse to take narcotics and be spacier than I already am. I think the chemo is truly affecting my brain power. It is SO hard to remember the easiest things, and I feel like a fool in front of others hourly. I've heard that "chemo-brain" can last for at least a year. Darn.

I owe, I owe...

I'm not going to start on the bills coming in, but go into the thank you notes I owe. I have written many over the last couple of months, but just didn't get them addressed or stamped or both. I am so sorry about this, but I do want all of you to know how much it means to me. Everything that everybody has done, said, prayed, shared, given...has meant so much to me. My goal while I'm "hooked up" today is to get that taken care of. I hope I don't forget anybody. I had a list, but it got thrown away during a cleaning frenzy (done in slow-motion, of course).

Introducing Angel

Here is the promised picture of Angel. She's a goof-ball, so she is fitting in very well with us.

Last weekend, we mainly cleaned out all the stuff I've been storing in what is now Angel's room. I found a home for the majority of it, but will need to find a home for the rest. Monday I got to teach Angel how to peel and de-vein shrimp for scampi. Tuesday I vegged, and Wednesday I finally felt well enough to do some gardening. My pansies are starting to show stress from the heat. I love them for their color during the winter, so it is hard for me to dig them up. Instead I decided to plant my summer seeds in around the pansies. I planted heat and drought tolerant seeds like cone flower, zinnia, and cosmos. The lantana that was by the front door last summer is coming back. It loves the heat, too. I can't wait for more flowers! We need to plant some grass, and soon! We're being attacked by weeds and clover!

Today I will need to cut my nails down as far as I can stand. It will be the shortest they have been since I stopped chewing my nails in college. One of the side effects of taxotere is that my finger and toe nails will loosen from the nail bed and may fall off. If my nails short it will keep the nails from getting caught on anything and the total nail coming off (ouch!).

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Well, I'm officially a parent on paper now to a beautiful 16-year old. Angel Ann Castillo, born July 24, 1990 (man, the year I graduated), moved in yesterday afternoon. Not long after we got her stuff in her room, we went to Lexie's first softball game of the season, and took Lexie home. When the "old people" went to bed, we could hear the girls talking and laughing. It was a VERY good day.

In the "Awww...Man" category, my thinning eyebrows are now showing patches. Thank goodness for pencils. I am really enjoying an extra weekend free from chemo before the toxic fluids are dripped again into my body. Next weekend we're going to Amarillo for Mother's Day. I hope the oncologists promises that this chemo wouldn't be so harsh is true.

Things are going great!

The oncologist is very happy with the results of the PET scan, and said that the cancer has literally "melted away" even more so than he ever expected. The plan for my treatment has changed to four dose dense rounds of chemotherapy with Taxotere and Herceptin, every-other week, and then Herceptin every three weeks until we have to go to another therapy (5 to 15 years). I will then have another PET, hoping the results are the same, and then discuss hormonal therapy and surgery. This is when the surgeon will be included in the treatment plan, but the doctor is SO happy with the results of the PET scan and how I responded to chemotherapy that he wants to keep killing the little alien spawn that may still be hanging around.

Here are some links telling about the chemo therapies I will be on:
Taxotere: http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=4004
Herceptin: http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Treatments/Biologicaltherapies/Monoclonalantibodies/Trastuzumab

I am so thankful for the prayers on my behalf, and feel so happy that God found it in His beautiful will to help me heal. I cannot describe my joy and praise on my lips for God at this moment except that it brings me to joyful tears. God IS awesome.

Today's the day I find out more.

I have an appointment with my oncologist just after lunch today. I wish it was first thing this morning so I would hurry up and know what is going to happen next. I will send the word around as soon as I know anything.

I did get a phone call yesterday at work from one of the oncology nurses asking why I didn't get my blood work done on Tuesday. I didn't understand why I needed blood work until she told me I was down for chemotherapy today. For a moment, I almost cried. I thought I was done with the AC treatments and that my appointment today was with the oncologist to see what is next. I explained this to her, and she said that it just must have been put in the book by accident. Although it was a very short phone call, I don't think I've felt weaker during my treatment so far. Thinking that I was done, and even if it was for a short moment thinking that I wasn't just hit me like a ton of bricks. I hope that all I'm going through will prevent recurrence so I never have to deal with this again.