Another day...more good news!

It is interesting how my life has changed in a few hours from anything similar to normality to teeth gritting survival. Now I'm excited over every drop of urine and every passing of the gas. I know it is gross, but I feel totally comfortable sharing this information with anybody since I discuss all of this with almost every person who walks into my hospital room. The staff here is so helpful, and has been bringing me pain killers and shots every time I've needed them. I'm starting to get back to normal, but my kidneys will be upset with me for at least the next six weeks, so while I"m going through recovery for this surgery, I will also be taking care of my kidneys. I guess I'm finding the hard way to give up caffeine. It will be worth it this time.

The word going around is that I will get to go home Saturday. The time here has passed quickly since I've been in and out of the land of Nod, and have had some great visitors and phone calls from people with too many miles to go between us. I am so thankful for all of your prayers and love.

I'm back! Kinda sorta.

This is my first time on the computer since Monday morning. I'm sorry for scarring anybody, and hope none of us have to go through that again. When I'm not moving, I'm very sore, and it elevates to pain after I move, so I try to move as little as possible. The pathology that was done on the lymph nodes came back 100% negative. Yippie! Pathology will be done on all the tissue they took out, more results to come.

I'm going to keep this short, but I just wanted to let you all know I'm doing very well. That setback will put me in the hospital for a few more days, but it is nothing I can't deal with.

DAY 3 ( I.P. FREELY)

THIS IS CHRIS AGAIN.....

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS AND PHONE CALLS.

AMY IS DOING VERY GOOD THIS MORNING. WE HAD A BIT OF SCARE LAST NIGHT, BUT IN THE END IT IS ALL WORKING OUT TO BE THE BEST CASE.

AT ABOUT 6 OCLOCK LAST NIGHT THE SURGEON SHOWED UP WITH PANIC ON HER FACE. AMY HAD NOT PASSED ANY URINE, AND THE DOCTORS COULDN'T FIND ANY REASON FOR THIS. DOCTORS DONT LIKE NOT KNOWING..... SO WE DECIDED, OR THE DOCTOR DECIDED TO GET AGRESIVE. SO OFF TO SURGERY WE GO.

FIRST A UROLOGIST ATTEMPTED TO PASS A SCOPE THROUGH. THERE WAS NO LUCK BECAUSE THE TUBING OF THAT AREA WAS BLOCKED. THIS WAS GOOD NEWS, BECAUSE IT MENT WE HAD A TUBING PROBLEM AND NOT A KIDNEY PROBLEM. THEN THE SURGEON TOOK OVER AND WENT BACK IN THROUGH THE ORIGINAL INCISION. CLEARED THE PINCHED TUBING, AND AS THEY SAY, LET THE WATER WORKS BEGIN.
SHE IMMEDIATLY BEGAN URINATING, AND THE CRISSIS WAS OVER.

THIS MORNING AMY MANAGED TO WAKE UP BEFORE ME AND CALL ME. I TOOK THIS AS A GREAT SIGN. WHEN I ARRIVED AT THE HOSPITAL THIS MORNING, SHE WAS AWAKE AND MAKING JOKES. SHE IS HEALING AND WILL GO HOME ABOUT SUNDAY.

correction

IT SEEMS THAT MY LACK OF SLEEP AND THE LONG HOURS IN THE WAITING ROOM ARE TAKING THIER TOLL ON ME. I CANT SEEM TO WORK THE SPELLCHECKER TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO SPELL CATHATER, SO AS YOU CAN SEE IT IS HIGHLIGHTED IN THE POST TO ACCENTUATE MY INACCURACY.

ALSO I MISTYPED MY PHONE NUMBER... 405.201.5159

DAY 2 IN THE HOSPITAL

HELLO ALL, THIS IS CHRIS AGAIN.
WE HAVE A LITTLE SET BACK. LAST NIGHT AFTER SURGERY AMY WAS HAVING DISCOMFORT IN HER BLADDER. THE NURSES WATCHED HER URINE BAG CLOSELY BUT IT NEVER FILLED. AFTER 7 ATTEMPTS AT PLACING A NEW CATHATER, THEY ALL AGREED THAT HER KIDNEYS HAD STOPPED WORKING. AS OF NOW SHE IS IN THE ICU ATTACHED TO A DIALYSIS MACHINE IN HOPES TO LOWER HER POTASSIUM LEVEL. HOPEFULLY THIS WILL KICK START HER KIDNEY AND GET THINGS FLOWING.

THIS IS BEING VIEWED AS A TEMPORARY SET BACK AND NOT AN ONGOING CONCERN.

PLEASE KEEP YOUR PRAYERS GOING AND HELP US SEARCH FOR THE MESSAGE IN THESE DIFFICULTIES. AMY WILL PREVAIL, SHE IS MUCH TO STRONG TO LET SOMETHING THIS TRIVIAL TO STOP HER.

ANYONE WHO IS WONDERING: WE ARE AT INTEGRIS SW IN OKC. SHE IS NOW IN ROOM NUMBER 362 ICU. MY CELL NUMBER IS 404.201.5159

COMING OUT GREAT, (THOUGHTS FROM THE OTHERSIDE OF DRUGLAND)

HELLO ALL, THIS IS CHRIS TYPING FROM DICTATION FOR AMY. I JUST WANT TO ADD A NOTE TO LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW IMPORTANT YOUR SUPPORT AND KIND WORDS HAVE BEEN TO AMY AND ME. THE PRAYERS HAVE NOT ONLY HELPED BUT THEY HAVE CREATED A MIRACLE. THANKS SO MUCH.....

"I JUST KICKED CANCERS ASS. I COULD THINK BETTER IF I WERE TYPING. THE STAFF HERE IS AWSOME. "

WELL AS YOU CAN TELL FROM HER DIRRECT QUOTE, THE DRUGS AND FATIGUE ARE KICKING IN. WE LOVE YOU ALL, AND CANT WAIT TO SEE AND HEAR FROM EACH AND EVERY ONE......

Tomorrow's the day

I'm counting down to less than 24 hours before I'm wheeled into the operating room. I don't FEEL too nervous since I know this is essential to my long term survival, but I'm nowhere excited about this, either. I will leave the OR without parts of me that have been around since I was born, well, one since junior high. It seems weird getting rid of something that I anticipated so much so many years ago and bought cute accessories to go with in the years since. I'm not SAD about the occasion, but somewhere in my heart I know I'm mourning the changes that will be happening to my body whether I want to admit it or not.

I think I'm as prepared as I can be for this momentious occasion: I've packed a small bag for the hospital with a sleep mask, earplugs, and a few other things that will help me survive a few days in the hospital. I've had all the copies made for my substitute (thanks to awesome assistants and copy ladies at my school), and all the clothes are being launderied as I type. I've prayed with several people, and my heart feels the peace that only comes from God.

I will give my password to Chris, and hopefully he will post how things are going. He will have his phone, and my mother will have mine...so if you are desperate for news, call either number. all our incoming minutes are free, so don't worry about that. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, along with my family and friends who have to endure someone they love going through surgery. I want to thank all of you for all your love and support. It means the world to me.

Ten years...

Yesterday was our anniversary...ten years! We're not the biggest anniversary celebrants, heck, last year we forgot our anniversary until three days later when someone asked how long we were married. As our defense, I'll say that we had just moved and started new jobs.

Wednesday night at bedtime we noticed the air conditioner wasn't working properly. We went outside to look at the unit and make sure some switch wasn't moved, and noticed the sound of the condenser unit trying to come on. It wasn't a good sound, especially when you live in Oklahoma in August. I WILL say I'm so happy a cool front came through last weekend and our high temps have only been in the 90's. We opened all the windows and were thankful we have great ceiling fans and were able to be fairly comfortable through the night. Chris called an A/C repair shop and they came after school, only to say we need a new compressor. The good news is that the compressor is covered by warranty since the unit is only a year old. The bad news is that we have to pay for labor...Heck, I chose the wrong profession. The other bad news was that we would have to endure one more night without A/C.

To make the evening more endurable, we decided to go out to eat and watch a movie...a date on our anniversary? Angel happened to be home (her teachers see her more than I do now) and we went to Norman, so we picked up Lexie. We went to eat some of the best hamburgers on the planet and then to see "Live Free or Die Hard." I honestly wasn't excited about seeing it. I loved the first three movies, but I was thinking of "Rocky 6." Ugh. I was wrong. The movie rocked our socks off. Yippie kaye yea! The best thing about a movie theatre is that for little money (it was at the discount movie) we had great air conditioning. We came home after dark, and with open windows and fans endured another night without A/C. Thank goodness it gets fixed today.

I know this sounds weird, but I'm so glad we had this normality to occupy my mind. I feel like a normal person with normal problems.

On the ABnormal part of my life, I had another Herceptin infusion yesterday. When I entered the chemo room I saw someone I've been wondering about and praying for since I met her. She is another Stage IV gal, and we visited about expanders and surgery and survival. She's a fighter just like all the women I've met on this journey...and we spent about an hour comparing notes...she's already had a mastectomy, so had some great advice for me, and we're both facing the loss of ovaries. Did I ever mention the "cure" for breast cancer sucks? Anyway, it was great seeing her, and she is so prescious I hate more than anything she has cancer.

Outing Glenda

Normally, I'm one of the best people to tell a secret to. I'm going to blame chemo-brain when I almost outed Glenda to my classroom. Her name is a link to her blog, so she's out of the pink ribbon closet and I feel free to use her name.

Okay, back to my big-fat mouth. The other morning when my surgeon's nurse called to give me the final and official time and place of my surgery, I mentioned that I had a friend who was just diagnosed who was visiting the office next week. When she asked for her name, I blurted out her name...then slapped my hand over my mouth. DUH! I went as soon as the bell rang to confess and beg for forgiveness. Sweet as she is, it was no big deal.

Anyway, I've posted the link to her blog. I recommended she start her own to communicate without having to explain the same thing over and over and over and to help get feelings off her chest. I hate cancer. I really hate when somebody I know and care for is diagnosed. Check her out and give her some support. The time after diagnosis was the worst part for me of this whole journey.

The surgery will be at (drumroll please)....

The surgery will be at Integris Southwest. I will have to be there at 10AM, and the surgery should start at noon. It will last until about 5:00, and I will spend at least an hour in recovery.

Oh, I will be in the hospital for three to four days.

School, Two Different Hospitals, and General Frusteration

Today was the second day of school, and I am exhausted! I moved into a TINY classroom with lots of crap. It took hours and help to get it set up for my students, and I was so ready to see their faces! There is a special electricity in the building this time of year, and it makes it worth getting up earlier than I'd like to and putting on makeup. My class is full most hours, and I'm trying to figure what to do with my students for the next two months since I will be gone at least six weeks. I hate that, but I gotta do what I gotta do. At least I got up and went to work on so many mornings when I was tempted to call in sick so I have enough sick days stored up.

On Monday I THOUGHT that my surgery would be at OCOM. I was going to post it, but I've been too tired after getting home. Today when I came home there was a message from one of the surgeon's office telling me that the other surgeons were wrong and it is to be at Integris Southwest. After I took a big giant sigh, I took a look at the clock and noted it was after five, so I'll have to wait tomorrow to call the doctors again. What a mess!

My general frustration has nothing to do with school or the surgery, but I found out today that one of my friends at work now has breast cancer. What the heck!?! Is this crap contagious? What sucks for her right now is that she is in the "not knowing what is going on" phase. She has an appointment with the same surgeon that is doing my surgery next week, and without releasing her name, I'm just asking for prayers for her right now.

I have a date!

On Monday, August 27, I will have surgery. The surgery is scheduled for noon, so it will probably start about two in the afternoon. My stomach is in all kinds of twitters, but I will just have to get over that and not let it ruin my next two weeks. Did I ever mention that cancer sucks?

We are not exactly sure where the surgery will be. Chris and I have spoken to two different nurses on Friday afternoon, and were told two different hospitals. On Monday, our first priority is to get the surgeons to agree on the place...I AM pretty happy we have a time nailed down.

Still waiting...

The nurse for one of my surgeons called this afternoon and said that one of the doctors' nurse has not responded to her messages. She said that it may be next week before we know anything, but she will call and call until she gets a response. The doctor I'm waiting on is the plastic surgeon. He doesn't have the best "bedside manner," but he's a perfectionist, and has been highly recommended.

Breathe in....breathe out...(repeat)

Oh, I start back to school tomorrow! I love this time of the year.

Waiting for a date

I met with my plastic surgeon and my ob/gyn surgeon. The ob/gyn is an identical twin of my general surgeon who will be doing the mastectomy, and both seem brilliant. I am currently waiting for a phone call from one of the doctors to have a surgery date. I will post when I know more.

Cancerland

I've been off work for the last two months, but the time has flown. I will be going back to school next week...wow. This last week I've gone to a mini family reunion for Chris' extended family and went home to see my family in Amarillo, Texas. It is great to get to see people new and old, and I wish we all had more time and less miles between each other.

While in Amarillo, we took Lexie to a small amusement park called Wonderland. For some reason on the way home, my crazy mind came up with Cancerland, and I guess the reason my mind went there is that we came home for doctor appointments. In my mind, Cancerland is not anything like an amusement park, but a long line of doctor appointments and tests and surgeries. It is kind of like the "Hotel California" where "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave."

Cancerland isn't the worst place in the world that I can imagine, and there are some wonderful things that have come out of all of this, I'm just coming to the realization inside me that I will always deal with cancer as a patient. I've known this in the back of my head, but I've refused to look at it full on until I had to. Since I've been diagnosed with cancer, I've gone through the stages of grief...grieving the life I had and the future I've planned. The Cancerland realization is bringing on old feelings of loss that I've already dealt with and honestly wanted to put away. I guess I'll never have the option of locking the box on cancer thoughts, and it sucks.

Honestly at this time I'm thinking of deleting all I've written above. I've heard from others that I'm so positive and inspirational, but I can't be strong all the time. Today is a weak day. It is easier to be honest with myself than with others because I don't want anybody to worry about me. I've deleted lots of posts that I just typed and put down for me, and this may go into the depths of cyberspace, but if you're reading is, I guess not.