Thursday, September 27, 2007

Other's writing

I heard this blog referred to on NPR before I was ever diagnosed with cancer. I started reading this some time after my treatment started. He says many profound things, and I just wanted to share something he wrote earlier in the week. The auhor is Leroy Seivers, and next Monday he will be going through a spinalectomy. He has metastatic cancer from colon cancer (listen to those who are putting off colonoscopy). The title is the link to his daily blog. He makes me look like a wimp.

Does Cancer Make Us Cowardly?

“How many of us would love to run away from our disease? From the treatments, the side effects, the pain? ... We can't run away. So we are left with only one choice. Stand and face it. ”

I was watching an old episode of Boston Legal the other day. I won't try to summarize the plot, but a cancer patient was on the stand in a trial. In the course of his testimony, he said, "Cancer makes cowards of us all." It's one of those lines that grabs your attention. It was clearly meant to. And I kept thinking about it long after I was done with the episode.
I think it's wrong. Wrong meaning incorrect, not morally wrong. Cancer, as we all know far too well, is scary. It's more than scary, it's terrifying. It's worse than any horror movie out there. Sometimes the fear it brings can be almost paralyzing. Except that it's not. I think cancer tries to make cowards of us all. And fails.
To me, a coward is someone who runs away, who fails to act out of fear. No cancer patient is a coward, for one very simple reason. We're not allowed to be. How many of us would love to run away from our disease? From the treatments, the side effects, the pain? At some point, we have all felt that. But it's just not one of the options. We can't run away. So we are left with only one choice. Stand and face it.
We've talked before about how often people tell us how brave we are. I don't think that's right either. We are challenged by this disease, and we rise to the challenge because there really is no other choice. People are much stronger than they think. It's just that many people are never tested.
My cancer has scared me. It scares me pretty much on a daily basis. It scares me when it hides, when it grows, when it surprises me. But make me a coward? Never.
Leroy Sievers

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I get that he does not feel that he has been "brave", because he felt as though he didn't have any other choice but to go through the "treatments"; however, I believe that there was a choice made. The choice was To have the "treatments" or NOT to have the "treatments". There are people out there who find out they have cancer and then pretend as if they don't. I am not saying this is wrong or right; it is simply a choice they have made for themselves--but it is still a choice.

And I believe that you are Brave to have made the choices you have, you chose to fight (and did a bang up job with it too). And in my book that makes you one of the bravest people I know.

Bravery is doing something inspite of the fear that is present, and there is always a choice.

Love ya,
Me
----Have fun at work on Monday! :)

Anonymous said...

Without a doubt the choices you have made and the way you have handled yourself let us know how brave you are. Brave and strong! You are going back to school faster than they thought you could. Don't over do but enjoy. I know you will draw strength from doing what you love to do. Thanks for sharing Chris and Lexie with us in Amarillo this weekend. They have stories to tell and ideas to share.
Love ya',lots,
Pat

Anonymous said...

Amy, you look awsome in the picture! You extemly excited and very proud, RIGHTFULLY so. I pray that you continue to do well, and I look forward to meeting you on the next Parent Teacher Conference :)
Sincerly,
Tammy