I get a port next week!

Next Tuesday, I will get a port placed in my chest.

http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Treatments/Chemotherapy/Linesports/Implantableport

This will allow the medical professionals to give me chemo and take blood without pricking and repricking my arm.

Last night my favorite step-daughter (I have only one, but she is an awesome kid) brought me an early Easter present. It was a FUN pair of socks and some of my favorite candies. I'm wearing my new socks today.

Official diagnosis.

First the bad news:
Report:Stage IV Breast Cancer
Biopsy result: Invasive mammary carcinoma, favor poorly differentiated ductal carcinoma.
CT result: Cancer believed to also be in liver, left hip bone, and breast and armpit nodes.
They are still going over biopsy to find if estrogen receptor and something else.
They are going to start with chemo, and put a port in asap.
I will be starting chemo on March 8.

Now the good news:
I have a GREAT medical oncologist. He knows his stuff, he's a believer, he's married to a teacher, and he's from the same area of the woods at my husband's family and even knows some of the same people.
GOD is great.
My husband, friends, and family are awesome, and I feel so grateful for them.
I am willing to do whatever the doctors tell me to do to beat this thing.


I know people feel helpless and want to do things to make me feel better, but please no flowers or plants. I don't know why, but I kill them pretty easily no matter how hard I try. If you want to send something, a card, a prayer, a letter or something practical will be more appreciated. I don't want to solicit for anything, but I do know what it feels like to be helpless and not know what to do.

If you want to leave a comment...

I've had several people tell me that they have had trouble commenting. To comment, you don't have to sign up on google, you can post anonymously. You just have to click on the anonymous button.

Why I went to the doctor in the first place...

In October, I was getting ready for school, and happened to look in the mirror and noticed that the shape of my left breast had changed. It was swollen and the shape had flattened on the bottom. When I felt for a difference, I noticed my lump. Well, since October was breast cancer awareness month, and I have come across several survivors and co-survivors (husbands) in my recent life, I thought it would be a good job to get it checked out. A doctor worked me in the next day, and took a look at it.
When I saw the doctor, I told him about the symptoms and that my little sister already had a weird skin cancer and I had an aunt who had breast cancer. He felt for the lump and told me it was a cyst, and that I needed to check back with him in 4 to 6 weeks. He also told me that it was probably nothing since I was too young to have breast cancer. When I went to schedule the appointment, there wasn't a spot open at all. They told me they would call me when there was an opening. I left feeling like I wasted the doctors time and that I overreacted by going to have it checked out. Now, I wonder how hard it would have been for him to send me down for a sonogram. Well.... black powder season... Thanksgiving and hunting... Christmas... happened. I should have been more proactive, but I felt HE was the doctor and knew what he was talking about. I held onto the cyst idea, even after I went to the doctor and was going through scarier symptoms and more testing. I thought, and even told people I was going to get my cyst aspirated. Heck, if I can lie to myself, it isn't scary.
I couldn't act like nothing was wrong when I was stuck at home for a week during a freak sleet storm. The roads were too icy to expect school buses to run, so we missed four days of school. I had a lot of time to do...well...nothing. I noticed that my "cyst" had grown larger, it started hurting and my skin was looking even weirder. I made an appointment with another doctor still hoping for a cyst, and they would drain it, and I would feel better...
Almost immediately she scheduled a mammo. That started my journey of further testing and meeting with doctors that has included sonogram, MRI, CT/PET scan, biopsy, consult, consult, consult...
I'm learning that the mass is large and I have to wait for my doctors to figure the best treatment for me.

Suprise! You get a find needle biopsy!

I called the surgeon's office today wondering what my CT/PET scan results were. She wasn't there, but I spoke to her sweet nurse who I pointed out that I was told I would have a biopsy, but there wasn't one scheduled. I got a surprise phone call about the time I sat down to eat my lunch that I needed to be at the dr's office in 80 minutes to get a fine needle biopsy. Thanks to some gracious people at work, my classes were covered, and I ran to the doctor.
I got there on time, not knowing I was being "worked in," and got to practice patience. The people were so nice, that it was no problem waiting by the time they were able to get around to me.
When I heard "fine needle biopsy", I pictured tiny needles like they use to give flu shots. What the doctor pulled out looked more like something one would use to dispense a shot to an elephant. It didn't hurt at all, but it was an odd feeling, and I AM sore. I think I will run and take a nap. I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend.

Hurry up and wait.

My CT/PET scans were ready today, and I was hoping to have an appointment tomorrow to find out what I will do next. During my last period class, I finally heard from my surgeon's office that I will be seeing a medical oncologist NEXT Tuesday. I guess I will have to wait and see exactly what that means. I'm afraid that I will have to go through chemo before surgery, but if that is how I get better, then that is what I'll do. I'm so glad that God is granting me the patience I need to get through this, I just wish I didn't HAVE to use it.

CAT/PET scans....

I went to get my CT/PET scan done. It was not what I expected, but what do I know? First, you can only have water for 5 hours before the scan, not even sugar free gum. I was taken to a room and after answering all kinds of questions, I got to have radioactive glucose (sugar) into my blood. I then got to go to a dark room and try to watch TV or take a nap in a recliner for an hour. After that I was excorted to get scanned. I got to lay still for 30 minutes with my arms over my head holding onto handles while I went back and forth through a tube. My parting gift was a bottle of water and a chewy choc. chip granola bar.
Next I will have a fine needle biopsy and meet with a medical oncologist. My "medical team" will then decide where to go from there. Good news is that I get to go back to school tomorrow.

Feelin' the love

I is amazing how God has kept me calm. I couldn't do this by myself, and He has been with me through all the people who have touched my heart in the past few days. Family, friends, students, co-workers and medical professionals have shown God's love to me with every word. I just wanted to take time to praise Him, and give thanks.

Waiting for the phone to ring

I haven't stared at the phone like this since I was in college waiting to hear from my latest beau. Now, I'm staring at the phone waiting to hear when I will have a CT/PET scan.
Why am I doing this? Well....
I had an appointment with the surgeon today, expecting to have surgery tomorrow. I guess that when people have a sick appendix or gall bladder, they take it out almost automatically, and that is kind of what I expected. I found out I will have to undergo more testing. I have the CT/PET scan and a fine needle biopsy to look forward to. The scan is to see if there is cancer anywhere else, and the biopsy is to find out what kind of cancer it is. This will help the team of surgeon, radiologist, and medical oncologist decide where I go next.
Oh my goodness! They just called. It is tomorrow. Maybe I'll find out more the day after tomorrow.

Waiting...

I'm waiting to go to the surgeon and probably wait some more. I will find out more this afternoon, but I feel like a toddler and WANT IT NOW!!! I truly feel God is walking with me on this path and will carry me if it gets to be too much. I'm pretty calm today, and have felt a lot of love come from students and co-workers. I am so lucky... I just want to know what is next.

Telling my kids.

Today was a tough day... I had to tell my students that I may be missing a lot of school soon and didn't want to make them speculate or worry. This weekend when the news was soaking in, the thing I worried about the most was telling my students. I cried my first hour, but managed to stay calm after that. I guess I didn't want to see anybody else cry. It made for a long day. Tomorrow I find out about surgery/biopsy/whatever... The lump is big when it comes to lumps. It is about 4.5 in. by 2.5 in. by 2 in. I'll find out tomorrow how it will go away...

Diagnosed!

Well, how do you react when you are told you have cancer? Mostly, I've been calm after the initial cry. I don't feel sad, scared, angry, or worried. I actually feel thanks for the doctor that listened to my fears and sent me off to more testing. I was sent to one test, then another, then another, then I get the phone call. Now I'm patiently waiting and gathering as much information as I can. One survivor recommended I buy Breast Cancer for Dummies, and I have already read every page. I'm sure I will re-read it.