Healing well

My skin looks great! I have a few small cysts that have popped up but they are much easier to tolerate than the blisters. I can feel the tightness in my muscles on my chest wall and as soon as the radiation oncologist gives the okay, I can start weight training on my chest muscles again.

I have a PET scan on October 1 that will determine if there is any progression of cancer elsewhere in my body. I keep hoping that since I'm feeling well there is no more cancer in the body, but I know that I felt well before my diagnosis and it may have come back. I will not turn myself over to fear or worry because there is nothing I can do to change it.

I continue to hate cancer. The message board I frequent continues to be peppered with messages of progression, hospice, and death. I will let myself go days without checking in because I can't handle hearing of the bad news. I've been a part of this community for over 2 1/2 years and have become closer to more and more ladies. I know their stories, about their families, and their lives...and they have become a part of my life. One death a couple of weeks ago was closer to me than any other before and it hurt beyond words. I have another friend who lives locally who is at MD Anderson right now hoping for a cure to her breast cancer. Over the last year, even with chemo, she has progressed and is hoping to get a bone marrow transplant to save her life.

I guess I'm transitioning to the month of October and crap. There seems to be a misperception that breast cancer is an easy cancer to have. I totally beg to differ. So far, I have been lucky with my treatment and recurrence, but too many aren't that lucky.