Our Puerto Vallarta Adventure

Summer is almost over, and we finally got to go to the trip to Puerto Vallarta. We took a chartered flight sardined with a bunch of other people. It was great, because there are very few direct flights out of OKC, and we flew directly there. Going through the Mexican customs was easy because we packed light and just had carry-on luggage. If there is nothing to declare, the traveler pushes a button that gives a red light or a green light. If there is a red light, you have to be searched...if there is a green light...on to Mexico! Nobody told me about the "shark tank" of time share salespersons. There are two rooms of people yelling at travelers asking for hotel information, offering free taxis to the hotel, offering free tours. Thank goodness I was with Chris, because nobody wanted to mess with him. We made it to the Taxi stand, and were on our way to our hotel. The ride to the hotel was an adventure in itself. Traffic in PV is CRAZY. PV is on the side of a mountain where it meets the sea. The driving rules are more like suggestions, and there are tons of speed bumps so that the cars and busses will slow down enough for people to be able to cross the road or pull out into traffic.

Our hotel was FREAKING AWESOME!!! It is a five start hotel with an all inclusive option. Our room was a beautiful suite with a wrap around balcony. We even had 1 1/2 bathrooms...one of the bathrooms was the size of my kitchen! All taxes and tips were included, but a few dollars here and there increased the level of our service. The workers worked their butts off for little money, and a little friendliness and money goes a long way. I even remembered more of the Spanish I took in high school and was able to have conversations with many people that I couldn't have done more than nod hello to. The all inclusive option mainly includes a free wet bar in the room and a wonderful buffet...and drinks. We got to eat one night in one of the classic resturants, and it was FABULOUS! Our view was the Pacific Ocean and the nearby village. I spent more time on the patio people watching than I did at the pool. We were treated very well and I want to go back some day.

As a "tourista," we walked into the village and were told about a resturant called "The Garden of Eden" that was a 2 1/2 mile walk up the mountain, or a $13 dollar taxi ride. What got Chris there is that he was told Predator was filmed there and there was a burned out helecopter there from the movie. We opted for the taxi ride...UP a mountain? Are you KIDDING?

When we found out that you can go to a pharmacy and just order medicine without a prescription, we scheduled a trip into town to get a few antibiotics for Chris' bout with Montezuma's Revenge (I also got some Retin-A to beat the wrinkles, I hope). While in town, we walked down the beautiful boardwalk to shop for a t-shirt for Lexie and see if there was any jewlery I couldn't live without. While there, Chris got pulled in by a sales person telling funny jokes who was very personable. Somehow he talked us into a "quick sales presentation" at his hotel the next day, and we would get $200 for our time...well...we were leaving the next day and didn't have any plans, so what would it hurt?

Well, he met us the next morning at our hotel and took us to the tour. We ended up in BFE (BFM???) and toured a beautiful hotel...and got sucked into hell. I actually feel we were taken hostage or kidnapped, and as the time of our flight was nearing, we almost had to fight our way out of the presentation. When Chris called the sales person a liar (en Espanol), he was called outside and all of the sudden there were six guys surrounding Chris, and some of them were even taking off their watches. They backed off when I got my camera out and we just left. They were yelling at us to get off their property and that they were calling the police. Both of us were so sick by now and ready to get home.

We exited the hotel, a.k.a. time share hell, and couldn't find a taxi or bus anywhere. We walked half a mile down the street to another hotel and they called a taxi for us. It took over half an hour to make it to the airport, and we ran to the counter to find nobody there for our airline (20 minutes after they left the ticketing area). It turned out our flight was just boarding, but a representative wouldn't come down and get a boarding pass to us, so we were screwed. We called the travel agent who arranged the trip, and she was able to find "Worry Free Vacations" reps and they were able to find room for us on a flight four days later. It wouldn't have been too much of a problem to be "stuck" in Puerto Vallarta except for the fact that Chris' new coaching job started the next day. Still in a daze, we walked into town and found an Internet cafe and found a flight for the next day that would take us to Houston, Denver, then OKC (for WAY too much money, but we had to get home). We bought that, and went to the boardwalk to find the lying SOB who talked us into time share hell. (he wasn't there to give us the money at the end like he promised...the salespersons make $500 usd for every couple they get to the presentations. When we got to where we met Raul in the first place...he was nowhere to be seen, and the surrounding people (who happen to totally dislike the guy) told us he wouldn't return, and he has a habit of screwing the tourists. We were also told many, many people come back looking for him. Well...we had to find a place to stay, and found the Hotel Encino a few blocks off the boardwalk. It wasn't as awesome as the original hotel, but it was clean and had a bed. We left our luggage there and went back to the boardwalk and walked around where most of the native Mexicans lived. We found a great $5 pizza and later a Burger King. We made the best of our extra night, and went to bed early because we were pooped.

We got up the next morning and walked in the cool. Got to go to a Mexican Mass (the church was TOTALLY beautiful) and walked along the boardwalk. One of the guys who we spoke to the day before looking for Raul (Hildago to them) pointed to where he was, and Chris ran to catch up to him. By the time I got there, Hildago was trying to convince Chris to get into a cab with him and go to his house to get the money. Chris was (thankfully) smarter than that and refused. Hildago started walking faster looking like he was trying to get away and started running. Just then, a police officer happened to be driving by on a 4-wheeler, so Chris started yelling, "HELP! POLICE! HE STOLE FROM ME!"

Hildago started running faster with Chris yelling and running after him and got into a taxi. Chris got IN FRONT of the taxi, with his chest on the hood of the taxi and his hands grabbing the wheel wells. Hildago's expression was priceless! He got out of the taxi and ran some more. By now, Hildago had two policemen after him on 4-wheelers and a very pissed off Chris... Chris caught up to him first and wrapped his arms around Hildago in a bear hug. (Chris is a big guy, but he can run FAST!) From there, Hildago was taken to the original "scene of the crime" and we got to tell our story. Hildago was handcuffed to one of the 4-wheelers and tried to lie his way out of trouble, but the other people on the block were telling the police that he was a repeat thief. It turns out that a couple went to the police to report Hildago earlier in the week, so we all got a trip to the police station. When they started talking about the police station, Chris paid a guy to help me go to the hotel and get our bags so we could make the flight this time. We got to ride in the police pickup truck while Hildago rode in the back hand-cuffed to the roll bars with a policeman in the back with him. When we got to the police station, I remembered that I forgot my bag with my medicine, i-pod, books and camera (man, I wish I had a camera during the chase scene). While I was waiting for an escort out of the police station, Hildago was hand-cuffed to a slab of concrete in the hot-sizzling sun. We were sweating like crazy in the shade with a fan...I can't imagine. I got to witness the federales taking one of the prisoners to...who knows. The federales were wearing bullet-proof vests, and one of them was in the back of the pickup with an automatic rifle pointed at the prisoner. (Yikes!)

I got my escort to the street and the policeman helped me give instructions to the taxi driver. The ride was actually lots of fun. Between my bad Spanish and his bad English we were able to have a great conversation. I learned that any attempt by foreigners to speak any Spanish at all is very much appreciated. I also learned many interesting facts about culture. It was great. The ride to the hotel and back to the airport took just over an hour.

During my ride, Chris was at the police station telling his story about Hildago, and Hildago lost his sales licence and was put into jail for three days. Chris was put on a bus to get to the airport, and had no places to sit. Poor guy had to grab two bars and keep his balance...while dripping sweat like a rain shower on the people below his arms. Some of them put stuff over their heads for protection. I can imagine that they didn't appreciate getting "gringo sweat" all over them. He got to the airport before I did, and was soaking wet when I found him.

This time, we were at the airport WAY ahead of time, and were able to get on an earlier flight to Houston that was delayed due to the tropical storm in Texas...18 MINUTES BEFORE THE FLIGHT!!!!... (which made the story they told us about international law having to be there an hour early totally balogna) Chris even had time to change out of his wet clothes into dry clothes, and got weird looks when he threw away the wet clothes.

We got to OKC just after midnight, but our luggage didn't until the next day...and we are HAPPY TO BE HOME!