Long time...

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while, but I haven't felt like sharing the bad news in my life. Angel has decided that she doesn't want to live with our family, and I've been heart broken. This actually has hurt me more than the cancer diagnosis. What also hurts is that I know that 17-year-olds make bad decisions, and I worry how this will affect her in her future. She is dearly missed, and at least I get to see that she is okay since she is at the Baptist Children's Home and at Westmoore.

Health wise, I have some sore spots on my body that have me concerned, so my doctor has ordered a blood test done last week, and a PET scan that will be done tomorrow. I absolutely HATE this disease. Every ache and pain can be cancer, and needs to be checked out. There is also a worry about my liver function due to a little yellow in my skin (jaundice).

I am getting into the 3 Day fundraising, and will fully implement training tomorrow. I have sent out e-mails and letters to family and friends and am well on my way with my fundraising goal.

It is time for the cure to be found. Too many women are dying, and many of these are young and have children. Did I mention I HATE this disease?

I'm too tired to think of a post name

I've been busy lately. I got to go to a national conference for young women with breast cancer last weekend. Besides coming into contact with some awesome women and even some of their husbands. I heard some information that I already knew (the most frustrating part...and I was raised to be polite instead of the screaming of GIVE ME INFORMATION I DON'T KNOW that was going on in my head. Most of the presenters were very informative, and one gave me information that I HAD to do something about. It makes sense, but seeing in black and white that women who did not participate in a diet and exercise program were TWICE as likely to die instead of having long term survival lit a fire under my butt. There was even a session about ummm..... errrr.... libido. What hit me during the weekend is that yes, I'm alive, but now is time to live again. Living with NO libido, pain in all my joints, and night after restless night makes Amy a grumpy, dull woman.

Onto the anniversary of Dr. K. I honestly believe that he is the best oncologist for me. I got better answers from him than I got from the "breast experts" from Dana Farber and MD Anderson. I got to see him last Tuesday and ask a few questions from the conference and mention that the medicine I've been taking to block my fat cells from producing estrogen has been making my joints hurt like hell. My blood pressure has gone up by over 30 points and I've gained more pounds than I want to admit. It would really stink to get through all of this to have a heart attack.

One of the reasons I didn't want to post is because I hate whining, especially from myself. I don't want to seem ungrateful for the life I've been given to gripe about the life I wasn't sure that I would get to live, but I've been in lots of pain. At 35, it shouldn't hurt like it does to get out of a chair, or to sit too long, or anything for that matter. Then the other side is that I set aside this blog to be honest with myself and others what cancer is really like. It isn't pretty and wonderful at all...it is a killer and needs to go away.

Last part of my post...please keep Angel in your prayers. She is going through a tough time right now and needs guidance to make the right choices.